

“I frankly don’t know on what schedule John and his junior companion made visits to the Russell home. … But into that agonizing breach came … John Manning. “Unable to sleep, unable to find peace, Troy was inconsolable. … He got out only to find his precious nine-year-old son, Austen, lying face down on the pavement. … He felt his back tire roll over a bump. “My friend Troy Russell pulled his pickup truck slowly out of his garage. Listening Is LovingĪ story from Elder Holland illustrates the power of listening: Nelson taught that we should “learn to listen, and listen to learn from one another.” 3 As you learn to listen with the intent of learning about others, you will be in a better position to understand their needs and hear promptings about how you can care for those around you as the Savior would. Being agreeable can help defuse anxiety and defensiveness (see Matthew 5:25). You might not agree with everything said, but agree with what you can without misrepresenting your own feelings. This helps them know if they have been understood and gives them an opportunity to clarify. Paraphrase what you heard and how you understand the other to feel. Clarifying reduces misunderstanding and shows your interest in what is being said.

Clarifyĭon’t be afraid to ask questions that clarify something you didn’t understand (see Mark 9:32). Your response will be better because it will be informed by greater understanding. Instead, listen with the intent to understand. Resist the temptation to jump to conclusions or to think ahead to what you’ll say when they’re through (see Proverbs 18:13). Don’t be afraid of silence (see Job 2:11–3:1 and Alma 18:14–16). Just because they are finished speaking doesn’t mean they have said everything they need to. Give them time to think both before and after they say something (see James 1:19). Many people need time to gather their thoughts before speaking. 2 Here are five ways we can improve how we listen. Listening shows our love for others, helps build strong relationships, and invites the Spirit to bless us with the gift of discernment to help us understand others’ needs. … If we listen with love, we won’t need to wonder what to say. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said: “Perhaps even more important than speaking is listening.
